scrooootch

The first moment is the worst. When the world collapses on you, like a huge tsunami. You just want to hide under your cozy blanket but even there, it's not calm enough. When you think, everything has changed for ever now and your good old chilled life is over. Life never will be this bright, this easy, this pure, this innocent, this carefree. 

And then the clock is ticking. Unstoppable. Black will fade to gray and then dissapear completley. The air is fresher. Your breathing is easier. Still you can remember the pain. And what caused the pain. But you know, that you will survive. Because you've always survived. And even if it's hard at the beginning and it seems like nothing will be the same anymore... You gonna be okay. 

The pain will fade away. And at some point, sooner or later, it's gone. Or almost. To crawl under the blanket seems ridiculous. Eventually you'll come back to the point. And despite of all of your knowledge, it won't be easier. It never will. It always hurts. And thats important. Worthless, if it would be painless. 

It would be to much to say: 'Enjoy it'. But so it is. I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.